Gone but not Forgotten

This past weekend a young friend was once again saying goodbye to one of his former classmates. I say once again because this young man has had too much loss at the tender age of 25. The most recent loss was a young man serving bravely in Afghanistan; I was overwhelmed by Drew’s response. Posted on Facebook it was thoughtful, gracious and frankly made me cry. 

It got me thinking, certainly in the last thirty years we’ve had a number of classmates die. There were a few at 10th, a few more at the 20th and more will be recognized this weekend. One person I know we shall be missing is John. John died in Nov. 2007, although I only learned of his death earlier this year. My heart sunk in a sort of selfish way…for there was always something I wanted to tell him but never got the chance and now I never will.

John provided me with one of the best memories of my senior year, little did I know then it would come to mean so much to me 30 years later. Most of you know I moved a month before starting my senior year…my father’s company transferred us from MT to MN.  However, a few weeks after leaving, the family had reason to return to Billings for a quick visit. As luck would have it, it was the same weekend as homecoming and the game was with our cross-town rivalries the West High Bears.

Early Friday morning, I walked into Senior and was standing in the hallway when I heard my name. I looked up and in the distance I could see a smiling John running down the hall towards me. He picked me up and twirled me around ala “Officer and a Gentleman”, gave me a peck on the cheek and said “I’m so happy to see you”. It was such a genuine moment and I remember being both a little shocked and a little pleased.

High school was all about insecurities and if you were in with the right/popular crowd. John was one of the “popular” ones…good student, artist, musician & thespian. I ran around with that crowd but would never considered myself one of the “in crowd”. In/out John didn’t care, he had already learned one of life’s greatest gifts…to accept people for who they are. In a brief instant he told me I may have been gone but not forgotten and while I was there I had made some kind of connection.

I’ve held on to that memory for over thirty years waiting to share it with him again. Sadly John didn’t make it to the 10th or the 20th reunions and he won’t be making this one either. The lesson learned: don’t put off telling someone they make a difference. It is far better to share the gift with the living rather than remembering them via social media after they are gone.

My thanks to the BSHS Class of 1980…for always allowing me to come home again.