“Larry Lezzard and his All-American One-Man-Cheese-Philharmonic".

Oh, suburbia how I love thee: so soulless, so listless, so milquetoast...

While I happen to work in a community in which there are as many Vietnamese restaurants on each street corner as there are coffee houses; the number found in the suburbs are relatively few by comparison. Imagine my delight when a new Vietnamese restaurant popped up in a strip mall close to home. Unfortunately the Lotus Flower (LF) had a rough start, in part because I don’t think they understood the suburban business model they needed to adhere to.

In my neighborhood restaurants, particularly those of an ethnic nature, draw a great lunch time crowd given the large number of corporate pink & white collar bots looking for quick and cheap eats on the noontime fly.  Thus leaving the likes of Applebees, the Olive Garden and other cookie cutter chains to be frequented by non-discriminating hockey parents and their screaming broods on nights and weekends.

When the LF opened they opted for “upscale” (matching chairs; silk rather than plastic plants etc) in hopes of garnering the affluent suburbanites’ discretionary food budget. Remaining ever hopeful, the LF is constantly adapting their business model looking for the next great idea to bring in the masses on nights and weekends. Some of these ideas have included “Now open Sundays” with large screen TV’s and game worthy beer specials; the addition of free wi-fi and weeknight karaoke from 8-10, but my favorite has to be “Larry Lezzard and his All-American One-Man-Cheese-Philharmonic".

Larry started as an one-off on the grand opening weekend but has proven to be so tempting to the owners its turned into a regular weekend gig. Given that his equipment remains set up during the week I think it’s safe to say Larry’s a permanent fixture at this point. As is my habit, I usually stop into the LF for a to-go order on payday Fridays.  This has provided me with ample opportunity to savor the essence that is “Larry Lezzard".

Let’s set the scene, despite having a limited liquor license (beer & wine) there is no "bar area" so Larry plays in the main dining room alongside the register, where we pay for and pick up our take away orders. Tucked into his area is a hand painted bamboo room divider designed to discreetly hide the kitchen and bathroom entrances.   Finally, if you to look up on the nearby walls…they are covered with numbered photos which match numbered menu items all designed to entice those who can’t decide what to order.

Larry himself is not a bad looking man: he’s in his 50’s, about 6’2’’, 195 lbs, fit, clean shaven albeit with longer sideburns and comes complete with his own dishwater blonde to grey curly hair appropriately coiffed and spritzed. Dressed in tight fitting polyester black pants and a black sequined shirt chest hairs protruding of course; the guy could give my beloved Neil Diamond a run for his money if not for the multiple gold chunky chains about his neck and wrists. I think I counted no less than 6 rings on his 10 fingers and not a one was a wedding ring. Go figure…with a catch like that.

If I had to make a guess I would say Larry’s day job is that of a car salesman, new not used. He often arrives with a long stemmed red rose that he places near his keyboard. I’ve often wondered does he save it for the end of the evening to give to that special someone? Personally I’ll never know, I have to be home by 6:30 to tend to the Diva.


Dapper Dan O’ Lezzard

 
The first time I heard Larry and his All-American One-Man-Cheese-Philharmonic was on opening weekend. Larry is not a singer, rather he plays the electric piano complete with syncopated percussion…all the while keeping time with his chin. I knew I was in trouble when his opening number was Neil’s Sweet Caroline. It took every bit of decorum I had not to break out in hysterics as my mind jolted back to Gallway where the LMF and I met up with Larry’s singing Irish cousin, Dapper Dan O’ Lezzard (but that’s another story).

I don't think I've ever heard Larry speak, he lets the music speak for him.  Say what you will, Larry spares no expense when it comes to his art.  The flute solo that accompanies his rendition of the Wind Beneath My Wings simply "makes" the piece, and how could you not hum along with his tamborine enhanced version of Candy Man?  I wonder if he knows Viva Las Vegas or better yet Paradise By The Dashboard Light?

Maybe I've got this whole suburbia thing wrong. After all, life like love and music is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe I should shake up my own "business" plan a bit, you know broaden my horizons...take a chance.  Tomorrow is payday, I think I'll stop by and dine-in over a glass of wine.  Who knows maybe I'll get to take home the red rose..........
 
****Please note all names in this post have been changed to protect the not so innocent, but the facts remain unaltered. ****